Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
