I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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