We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
