Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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