its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
