what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My ATM looks so different sober.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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