After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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