Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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