No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
false alarm, still single
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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