dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
