I could have mohawked her pubes.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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