YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
