It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
