i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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