Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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