i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
