Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
