Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Text me some of your sweat
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
