i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
