Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Randomize
