i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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