thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
