He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
