Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
