he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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