I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
