he puts the penis in happiness.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
