There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
