butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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