all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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