Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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