He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
