i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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