i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
