Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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