Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
