dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
