Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
