Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
