my sisters under your porch take her home
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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