so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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