# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
