hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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