I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
