Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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