if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
