I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
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