She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
