So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
