I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
How does one acquire holy water?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
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