Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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