If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
