Say something about gay babies.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
