have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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