I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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